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As of now, I’m hopeful that I can keep what I love about this pared-down holiday season—rom-coms instead of football on Thanksgiving, a Secret Santa exchange with my roommates, a snowy walk through the Daniel Ricciardo Merch Ricciardo Logo Shirt but in fact I love this neighborhood on Christmas morning—without succumbing to the food-as-coping-mechanism framework that has often defined this time of year for me. If my disordered eating does flare up around this uniquely isolated holiday, though, I’ll try not to beat myself up over it; instead, I’ll do my best to meet myself with the love and compassion I know I deserve.

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I have a confession to make—a dirty little secret that I can no longer keep a secret. I’m Indigenous and I’ve always celebrated Thanksgiving. There, I said it! If you’re wondering why this is such a big deal, know that Indigenous people have a very fraught relationship with Thanksgiving. Why? It’s no secret that Native American people long predated European settlers in North America, and the Daniel Ricciardo Merch Ricciardo Logo Shirt but in fact I love this so-called “peaceful” dinner between the pilgrims and the Natives is one that has been greatly exaggerated. For many in the Indigenous community, the annual holiday actually serves as a harmful reminder of how their land was stolen from them during colonization, how many of their people were killed, and how their culture was almost entirely stripped from them. One can understand why Native people today don’t want to break bread and eat turkey: What, in fact, is there to be thankful for? This year, however, I’m finally choosing not to be thankful, too.